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For many people the Holidays bring mixed emotions, especially for those that have lost a loved one.  Thanksgiving is supposed to be happy and of course to be thankful for what you have in life.  For us, it's not about who we have lost, it's about those we choose to keep away from due to negativity.  The sadness is that all we ask is for positive people to be in our life, blood or not, as parents this is important.  It took a very long time to realize, this is exactly what our children are feeling being adopted through the foster system.
The reason I am saying this, tomorrow we will look around the table, at the faces with us.  We will see our kids, they will be happy. How often during a holiday do you realize what or who you are missing?  People are in this world, that made the choice not to be in their life.  That goes for all of us, you don't have to be through the foster system to know or feel that.  Someone doesn't need to pass away to feel like you have lost them. …

How life has not changed as we expected too, in other ways we didn't see coming...

As many of you know, we recently completed 3 more adoptions.  June 23rd, we had the finalization of all 3 toddlers, this day was very long coming.  With 4 adoptions down total and 1 more to go, we are almost done, this can't come soon enough.  We have decided that after the next adoption it is time to relocate, we deserve a new adventure for our growing family.

Post adoption, our house has changed, but slightly.  Almost like living with your partner for years then finally getting married.  We definitely feel closer then before, we feel like a Complete family or at least almost.  We also feel a sadness, cause these kids don't really know what this means.  They all know they are adopted, we try to explain as much as possible.  You can just see in their faces, they do not know this wasn't only about changing their name.

I don't know if having one child not adopted, maybe having Gavin changed us.  Having more sympathy for the bio parents, their sense of loss.  As much as …
Have you ever been accused of something so horrendous that you lose sleep?  To the point that you’re so angry, angry that someone can even say something so false about you.  Well, after the false accusation was made about our family, I am now living in fear. Yes, it was expunged, but the fear is not going away.
I’m talking about the doctor that called child line on us, because we are a same sex couple.  The doctor that said that we starve our child, when we found he has Hypoglycemia.  The doctor we took our kid too, because we were concerned and knew something was not right.   This is a reason that some foster parents choose to take a step back and not push for answers. 
The reason that I am writing this, is because this feeling that has come over me is all new.  Being targeted and sparking an investigation about our home, regardless if true or not is scary.  I for one am now terrified for my kids to say the littlest thing for someone to take it out of context and make a call again.…
Why is it that when you feel like finally the stress is coming to an end, BAM, another issue is knocking at the door.  I say that very lightly, all because this is our life story.  Did you ever feel like things are just too good to be true?  Usually, that feeling never lies, at least in my life.  It is almost a guarantee that something unexpected will be attempting to knock us back down.  
After some long awaited 9 months of pregnancy, Gavin Antonio Ponist arrived on 2/1/2017.  That day in its self was full of chaos, which I’m sure most is the day of delivery. But for us, we had no idea this was going to be taking place or how it all happened.  Kristin and I went to our 40-week appointment with the OBGYN that morning, Kristin mentioned she hasn’t felt the baby move for a few hours.  The doctor advised us to go immediately to the hospital to be induced.
Once we left the doctor’s office we drove home, quickly ran in, grabbed our bags and kissed the kids before we left.  We arrived to the …

The hurt you don't see behind the smiles

The craziness of the Holidays has hit us at a whole new level this year.  The saying “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger” really hits home for us now.  Don’t get me wrong, most of it is positive, but man, everything is happening all at once around the holidays.  Not to mention, we have had the biggest scare of our life and only 3 days before Christmas.
DeAndre is DeAndre, taking the world by storm.  Those that know this incredible human being knows how far he has come and how amazing he is.  Well, with that we had made a huge decision that we probably should have done long ago.  We found that our son is not being pushed educationally at school.  In our school district, having autism, they focused more on behavior rather than education.  We also learned that his behaviors worsened at school because he is so bored.  So, we made a huge decision to home school him, we need to push him to the best of his abilities in all areas.
Now, as you all know, all 3 toddlers are going to adopti…
When we decided to try and get pregnant we agreed to take a break from fostering.  We figured that our 3 toddlers are going through the adoption process; this a great time to focus on seeing their adoptions through and try to get pregnant.  First of all, no one expected our process of IUI to only take 2 tries.  We were elated with 3 adoptions and a new baby on his way, all this will happen in less than a year.
Don't get me wrong, we make it sound a lot easier than what it was, things still were a little stressful.  There were a lot of doctors visits and ultra sounds, on top of the extra paper work for the adoptions.  Things were getting done in a timely matter but still seemed to be taking forever with all 3 of these adoption cases.  Especially after TPR was months ago, we should of had these court dates by now.
Then comes our usual, every time things start to seem calm, the phone call that changes it all.  As I am getting the girls ready for bed last Friday night, Kristin comes …
The day I met my child's mother, I dreaded this and never wanted this to happen. Termination was supposed to have gone through before she was released from prison.  Unfortunately, the scheduling was off by a few weeks and a visit was granted.  Two years ago this meeting between us would have went very differently.

We got the news telling us that her release date and our court date for TPR was a few weeks apart.  Due to her rights still intact she had the right to see her children one last time before possibly losing her rights forever. She was fighting the fact that the state wanted to take her rights away of being a parent.  Truth be told, she had no shot in winning, she just served three years behind bars for what she did to these same children she  was fighting for.

Kristin usually does these visits with the kids, I have never met a bio face to face.  This time was different, this person almost killed our child.  She is a very dangerous person, she plead out of serving for atte…