Here lies the first, of many stories to come. This is about a Parent and their child, not genetically connected, although by appearance, you would never know it.  This is, “Genes Not Included”…

I am Diane Ponist. I am a mom to 6 children that all have completely different birth stories.  Five of my children, I cannot tell them what it was like when they were born.  I was just simply not there, nor did I know that they existed until much later, after their birth.  I am also a person that did not know that I wanted to really be a parent until my mid 20’s, as in really committing to parenting. I never really had a plan in my life for how I was going to achieve that.  I knew that I wanted to eventually be a parent.  I also knew, I never wanted to physically give birth.  

I, myself, was raised by a single mother, not really knowing my father.  I grew up with the feeling of never really knowing one of my biological parents.  What I knew about my second parent, was not very pleasant.  What I did learn from how I felt as a child, I didn’t want other children feeling as I did.  With that in mind, I was thinking of the amount of children within the foster system, that did not have anyone to call MOM. I at least had that, every other child should have that same thing. In the very least, 1 permanent parent in their life. As I began researching children within the foster system, I spontaneously reacted to my gut instinct. This is what I was meant to do, I knew there was children that were meant to be mine, already in the world.  I was just never apart of their birth plan, nor did I need that.  

Being a parent did not mean that I had to be genetically connected to my child. Many people do not realize, these are NOT necessary steps in giving a child a real life. Making you a parent, is not always about being involved or planning the birth or conception of your child. Although, there are very few and far between, that live within this reality.

My first born, DeAndre, I found on a website within the state of Pennsylvania.  This is a website where foster children are displayed and viewed, that are awaiting homes. These children do not have a forever family, but are or soon will be, legally free for adoption.  I saw this adorable little boy, with autism, my “mom” instinct immediately kicked in, knowing, he is my child.  It had zero to do with if he looked like me or not, that was completely irrelevant.  As he has became older, maturing into an amazing, yet also handsome gentleman, the first thing so many people say “He looks like he could be yours”.  News Flash, he is in fact, mine.  He always was and always will be my son, we are just not genetically connected.

My name is Danielle Kleiner, I am a married to a woman that was a mother of 2 boys that she brought into our marriage.  I was not involved in the conception or birth of either of my boys.  I met my wife when our oldest was 1 1/2 yrs old and Archer was 6 months at the time.  I was always the second parent, co parenting we instantly fell into.  My whole life, I knew I wanted to be a mom, but it’s not as easy in the Lesbian lifestyle.  My ultimate plan was to adopt at some point, as I tried to find my path in life.  Although,  I lucked out marrying my best friend with the package deal of having the children I have always wanted.  I married my whole family, it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies in the beginning, but we grew better through it.

Both of my boys have a special bond with me in different ways.  Xander is the slightly older of my sons and with him being not so much the baby, we could do more things together.  Archer, was just a baby as I started rocking him to sleep every night when I first met him.  I’d sing piano man, that was our routine.  By the time Archer started to walk, little by little he started to physically look like me and mock my mannerisms. As Xander is the same person as me on the inside, Archer really resembles me physically. So much that people began to say he was slowly being “molded” into being mine.  Well, he is mine.  I did not help make him, but I know he was made for me.  He is proud that we both have our darker skin tone, another love we share for our Native American Heritage.