When we decided to try and get pregnant we agreed to take a break from fostering. We figured that our 3 toddlers are going through the adoption process; this a great time to focus on seeing their adoptions through and try to get pregnant. First of all, no one expected our process of IUI to only take 2 tries. We were elated with 3 adoptions and a new baby on his way, all this will happen in less than a year.
Don't get me wrong, we make it sound a lot easier than what it was, things still were a little stressful. There were a lot of doctors visits and ultra sounds, on top of the extra paper work for the adoptions. Things were getting done in a timely matter but still seemed to be taking forever with all 3 of these adoption cases. Especially after TPR was months ago, we should of had these court dates by now.
Then comes our usual, every time things start to seem calm, the phone call that changes it all. As I am getting the girls ready for bed last Friday night, Kristin comes running/screaming across the house. DHS called to advise us that our youngest, now has a 2 day old brother. Being that her rights were just involuntarily terminated, this child is automatically an adoptive placement. First thought was, there is no way we can do this with 4 kids and 1 on the way. We had no idea that the Bio was even pregnant, apparently neither did any one else.
That night on the phone with DHS, Kristin puts the call on speaker phone. She told the case worker she was doing this so I could hear. DHS immediately says "who is Diane" Kristin replies “my wife” then the call goes quiet. We tell the worker that us being pregnant we need to discuss this and will call her back in minutes. We call back with a few questions then were told by the worker "sorry, my supervisor said no to you guys getting him anyway”. So we thanked her and ended the call puzzled why that was just said to us. I, in turn, was very upset and couldn’t sleep that night knowing our child had a sibling, we needed to follow up about this.
Moving on to Saturday, we started the morning discussing back and forth about this new baby situation. Both of us were so out of our minds with this recent shock, it just wasn’t sitting well. Then our agency calls and asked us to please take him, he needs to be with us. So immediately, we say yes and go into freak out mode trying to get ready in just hours for this new born baby. We can do this, this is what we do. We make every thing work with no time to prepare, this is our forte’.
On Monday we were ready, they said DHS will pick the baby up from the hospital and bring directly to our home. Our case worker came to check that we had a crib and were ready, everyone in our community really stepped up and helped. We ran around like crazy for 48 hrs getting every thing we needed, now it was time for us to meet this baby. All day went by, no phone call, no baby. That evening we called the agency, they were in shock we did not have him with us. The chain of calls started with who has him and what in the world could have happened.
Tuesday morning, the supervisor of the agency calls, she is steaming with anger. She told us the baby was brought to the wrong house, DHS did this behind every one else’s back. Reason being, when Kristin said my wife, immediately they didn’t want us to have him. DHS literally told our case worker on Saturday in a meeting, “but they are a lesbian couple”. So this woman, took matters in her own hands with her personal beliefs and hatred.
That day, the prejudice went all they way up to the DHS commissioner. That day, we were on the phone with every one involved and of course our attorney. That day, the baby arrived, transported by that DHS worker who made that poor choice. That day, the baby was home to stay with his forever family. We thanked her for bringing us our new son, shook her hand, as we smiled, walking her to the door to leave gracefully.
