How life has not changed as we expected too, in other ways we didn't see coming...
As many of you know, we recently completed 3 more adoptions. June 23rd, we had the finalization of all 3 toddlers, this day was very long coming. With 4 adoptions down total and 1 more to go, we are almost done, this can't come soon enough. We have decided that after the next adoption it is time to relocate, we deserve a new adventure for our growing family.
Post adoption, our house has changed, but slightly. Almost like living with your partner for years then finally getting married. We definitely feel closer then before, we feel like a Complete family or at least almost. We also feel a sadness, cause these kids don't really know what this means. They all know they are adopted, we try to explain as much as possible. You can just see in their faces, they do not know this wasn't only about changing their name.
I don't know if having one child not adopted, maybe having Gavin changed us. Having more sympathy for the bio parents, their sense of loss. As much as we are happy and elated especially because we don't have to fight anymore; well no longer fighting with the system. The feeling that someone else just really lost the child that we gained. With that, we decided to track down and reach out to DeAndre's bio, we needed closure with her. We traded pictures and cried a little through email after she said "I was blessed with him, to give to you". Then finding out his bio father recently passed and he will never know him. We are happy and sad for DeAndre all at once.
Right around that same time, we had to get an endoscopy for Landon. He was always listed as failure to thrive, but we needed answers to why. We had a 36 hour inpatient fasting test, that showed nothing. We did learn during that time that he is hypoglycemic, but what is causing it is unknown. Then the endoscopy came up as nothing also. The benefit of him now being ours, we can put a stop to putting this kid through so much testing. Having the decision of actually doing what is best and not have to answer to some one is amazing!!! We feel he simply just has a high metabolism, we want him to be left alone and enjoy his childhood.
Now Alyx, this one is tough for me. Alyx is our miracle child, the one that wasn't supposed to make it. It's this kid that cannot catch a break and our heart aches for her. Now that she has surpassed the medical standard for her "short gut syndrome", were faced with a new realization. Not a month after her adoption, after seeing in her profile her living conditions were worse than we have ever thought. We are finding out she also has Asperger's. I think what is so hard knowing this, is she has over come so much already in her short 5 years. We were told up until now, she was just delayed due to her past. Unfortunately, she has more of a road to over come than we originally thought. But she is the strongest little girl that we have ever known, we know this will just make her even stronger.
For Karson, the good news is the judge agreed already for a quick adoption. This one is fairly simple, since Kai was just adopted they want him adopted soon after. Kai was placed with us when she was 9 months old. These 2 will only ever know us, but Kai is much different with us after her adoption. Previously we had behavior issues, we thought possible bipolar. Currently, that dark period is gone, almost like being only 3 years old, she feels more complete. She obviously had emotional issues of abandonment etc, that you don't realize just a small child could have.
This time around, really changed us, our way of perceiving adoption. It's not just a happy time, there is sadness also, we were naive to that before. We went from no contact with bios to us making that first move, really early on. It's important for us, the questions are necessary for us and the kids. I was wrong in my previous blog, having them adopted the stresses and concerns are still there no matter what. I thought it would go away, the only thing that really changed was the lack of case workers that visited every month. Besides that, yes we all have the same last name now, but the past will always surround us.
Post adoption, our house has changed, but slightly. Almost like living with your partner for years then finally getting married. We definitely feel closer then before, we feel like a Complete family or at least almost. We also feel a sadness, cause these kids don't really know what this means. They all know they are adopted, we try to explain as much as possible. You can just see in their faces, they do not know this wasn't only about changing their name.
I don't know if having one child not adopted, maybe having Gavin changed us. Having more sympathy for the bio parents, their sense of loss. As much as we are happy and elated especially because we don't have to fight anymore; well no longer fighting with the system. The feeling that someone else just really lost the child that we gained. With that, we decided to track down and reach out to DeAndre's bio, we needed closure with her. We traded pictures and cried a little through email after she said "I was blessed with him, to give to you". Then finding out his bio father recently passed and he will never know him. We are happy and sad for DeAndre all at once.
Right around that same time, we had to get an endoscopy for Landon. He was always listed as failure to thrive, but we needed answers to why. We had a 36 hour inpatient fasting test, that showed nothing. We did learn during that time that he is hypoglycemic, but what is causing it is unknown. Then the endoscopy came up as nothing also. The benefit of him now being ours, we can put a stop to putting this kid through so much testing. Having the decision of actually doing what is best and not have to answer to some one is amazing!!! We feel he simply just has a high metabolism, we want him to be left alone and enjoy his childhood.
Now Alyx, this one is tough for me. Alyx is our miracle child, the one that wasn't supposed to make it. It's this kid that cannot catch a break and our heart aches for her. Now that she has surpassed the medical standard for her "short gut syndrome", were faced with a new realization. Not a month after her adoption, after seeing in her profile her living conditions were worse than we have ever thought. We are finding out she also has Asperger's. I think what is so hard knowing this, is she has over come so much already in her short 5 years. We were told up until now, she was just delayed due to her past. Unfortunately, she has more of a road to over come than we originally thought. But she is the strongest little girl that we have ever known, we know this will just make her even stronger.
For Karson, the good news is the judge agreed already for a quick adoption. This one is fairly simple, since Kai was just adopted they want him adopted soon after. Kai was placed with us when she was 9 months old. These 2 will only ever know us, but Kai is much different with us after her adoption. Previously we had behavior issues, we thought possible bipolar. Currently, that dark period is gone, almost like being only 3 years old, she feels more complete. She obviously had emotional issues of abandonment etc, that you don't realize just a small child could have.
This time around, really changed us, our way of perceiving adoption. It's not just a happy time, there is sadness also, we were naive to that before. We went from no contact with bios to us making that first move, really early on. It's important for us, the questions are necessary for us and the kids. I was wrong in my previous blog, having them adopted the stresses and concerns are still there no matter what. I thought it would go away, the only thing that really changed was the lack of case workers that visited every month. Besides that, yes we all have the same last name now, but the past will always surround us.
