Emotional highs and lows of fostering
Have you ever had your mind set that an out come is going to be a done deal? That there is no doubt in your mind of how the result is going to turn out? For some reason, with our life, it seems when we are confident that this time it's going to happen. There is always something that comes out of left field and gets in our way, changes the game all over again.
We had TPR (termination of parental rights) last week for 2 of our foster children. Both cases were scheduled randomly, the same day, in the same court room with the same judge, just at different times. So you could imagine our excitement, we could possibly have 2 adoptions at the same time. But of course, it's never that easy.
First court case was for the baby of the family. We have had her since 9 months old, now 2 ½, no contact with bios, it was time. This was the case were the case worker was on leave for months so the case continually was delayed. Finally, the case worker returned to work 2 days before court. She knew our frustration so after court she sent us a simple text, “it's done”. Although then the thoughts kick in, she is going to be adopted never knowing her bios. She is the only foster child we have had, not knowing her bios at all.
Second one is “Carmen”, his time is long over due!! He has been in the foster system for over 3 years now. This is the one where after years, his bio mom finally signed over her rights. We were ecstatic, he is finally getting his forever family that he deserves! Not as simple as we thought, bio dad randomly shows up to court after years of having no contact. Not until the morning of court did we even consider him at all being an issue.
The bio dad has been in prison for the past year awaiting trial seriois charges. Before going to prison he was on house arrest for other drug charges and willingly had no contact with Carmen. Now the day of TPR, he gets transported to court to initially sign over rights, then changed his mind and asked for visitation at the prison with Carmen. The judge said visitation is not a good idea, but was forced to postpone TPR until after dads trial.
As excited as we were to have both of these done on the same day, it was just another high to lows emotionally. We felt so confident, this was a huge day for both an eventually lead to disappointment. It's so hard being completely excited for one child when the other child's case continually gets drug through the mud. So of course we celebrate as planned for the baby and make a big deal that soon we get to adopt our first official girl. To then brushing off Carmen’s case and justify why the wait continues.
We had TPR (termination of parental rights) last week for 2 of our foster children. Both cases were scheduled randomly, the same day, in the same court room with the same judge, just at different times. So you could imagine our excitement, we could possibly have 2 adoptions at the same time. But of course, it's never that easy.
First court case was for the baby of the family. We have had her since 9 months old, now 2 ½, no contact with bios, it was time. This was the case were the case worker was on leave for months so the case continually was delayed. Finally, the case worker returned to work 2 days before court. She knew our frustration so after court she sent us a simple text, “it's done”. Although then the thoughts kick in, she is going to be adopted never knowing her bios. She is the only foster child we have had, not knowing her bios at all.
Second one is “Carmen”, his time is long over due!! He has been in the foster system for over 3 years now. This is the one where after years, his bio mom finally signed over her rights. We were ecstatic, he is finally getting his forever family that he deserves! Not as simple as we thought, bio dad randomly shows up to court after years of having no contact. Not until the morning of court did we even consider him at all being an issue.
The bio dad has been in prison for the past year awaiting trial seriois charges. Before going to prison he was on house arrest for other drug charges and willingly had no contact with Carmen. Now the day of TPR, he gets transported to court to initially sign over rights, then changed his mind and asked for visitation at the prison with Carmen. The judge said visitation is not a good idea, but was forced to postpone TPR until after dads trial.
As excited as we were to have both of these done on the same day, it was just another high to lows emotionally. We felt so confident, this was a huge day for both an eventually lead to disappointment. It's so hard being completely excited for one child when the other child's case continually gets drug through the mud. So of course we celebrate as planned for the baby and make a big deal that soon we get to adopt our first official girl. To then brushing off Carmen’s case and justify why the wait continues.
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