When the odds aren't always in your favor ... 3/6/16
In some same sex couples pushing the envelope with what they are trying to accomplish in life, you almost wait for a comment to be made. You know that one, the one about how inadequate you are going to be, simply because of your sexuality. It really doesn't matter how it's used because it's almost like people dig for a reason to use it. Then, when it's their last hope, after all other efforts fail, they throw in the gay card.
For us this isn't the first time involving the same child that we have had in our home for over 2 years. “Carmen” in the beginning, if you remember, had a case worker that was against us for being “white” and “a lesbian couple”. We thought all that was behind us by far, it's been so long and so much has happened since. But now, Carmen’s bio is unable to see him because of how she treated him on visits. There was change in the state law and it's now considered abuse for the spanking that ensued during their limited time together.
At the last court date, Carmen’s bio was denied ever seeing him again and termination will happen come this March. She lied constantly through the court hearing and even cursed waving her arms at the judge because he was telling her how she is not fit to get him back. Of course every one else was to blame except her, even though DHS cannot complete the investigation for abuse since bio refuses to comply. That didn't stop her for asking for an open adoption, now that the evidence points to adoption, clearly that is the only answer to this situation.
Yes, that's right. After all the arguing through the past few years we have done with her, most of it just showing her tough love to get her act together. She told the case worker she wants an open adoption with her having Carmen on weekends and holidays. This is even after the judge said due to aggravated circumstances she is not to see him at all now. We respectively declined that offer simply cause it's not in the best interest of Carmen. At that time, that one moment, she did it. After all this time and all we have done for her and her son she said it. “Well I don't think my son should be raised by lesbians now that I think about”.
Our stand point with this is the best interest of the child. As of now, more than ever before, with what has occurred we agree with the judge. Carmen has not seen his bio in over 6 months and he is finally flourishing. He now goes to preschool and has been signed up for soccer. Because of the circumstances, we decided to completely change his name at adoption, for his protection. The case worker agreed and asked us to start that now. So as of a few months ago this child got a restart on life. He is a brand new child and deserves to focus on himself now, his past we can deal with that later when the time comes and he is able to discuss further.
As for us, since all three toddlers are going to be adopted within this year, we are putting a hold on taking in more foster children. Our plate is pretty full with all three going through this process all at once. So now we decided, it is time to start a whole new journey for our whole family. That journey I will go into more details later on.. Although of course, we will still raise what we can for all those children in need and continue to be advocates for others.
- Diane Ponist
For us this isn't the first time involving the same child that we have had in our home for over 2 years. “Carmen” in the beginning, if you remember, had a case worker that was against us for being “white” and “a lesbian couple”. We thought all that was behind us by far, it's been so long and so much has happened since. But now, Carmen’s bio is unable to see him because of how she treated him on visits. There was change in the state law and it's now considered abuse for the spanking that ensued during their limited time together.
At the last court date, Carmen’s bio was denied ever seeing him again and termination will happen come this March. She lied constantly through the court hearing and even cursed waving her arms at the judge because he was telling her how she is not fit to get him back. Of course every one else was to blame except her, even though DHS cannot complete the investigation for abuse since bio refuses to comply. That didn't stop her for asking for an open adoption, now that the evidence points to adoption, clearly that is the only answer to this situation.
Yes, that's right. After all the arguing through the past few years we have done with her, most of it just showing her tough love to get her act together. She told the case worker she wants an open adoption with her having Carmen on weekends and holidays. This is even after the judge said due to aggravated circumstances she is not to see him at all now. We respectively declined that offer simply cause it's not in the best interest of Carmen. At that time, that one moment, she did it. After all this time and all we have done for her and her son she said it. “Well I don't think my son should be raised by lesbians now that I think about”.
Our stand point with this is the best interest of the child. As of now, more than ever before, with what has occurred we agree with the judge. Carmen has not seen his bio in over 6 months and he is finally flourishing. He now goes to preschool and has been signed up for soccer. Because of the circumstances, we decided to completely change his name at adoption, for his protection. The case worker agreed and asked us to start that now. So as of a few months ago this child got a restart on life. He is a brand new child and deserves to focus on himself now, his past we can deal with that later when the time comes and he is able to discuss further.
As for us, since all three toddlers are going to be adopted within this year, we are putting a hold on taking in more foster children. Our plate is pretty full with all three going through this process all at once. So now we decided, it is time to start a whole new journey for our whole family. That journey I will go into more details later on.. Although of course, we will still raise what we can for all those children in need and continue to be advocates for others.
- Diane Ponist
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